1 - Find a fist size or bigger Petoskey Stone
It is something simple and fun for the whole family to do. A treasure hunt! But it's only easy if you know how to find them. Luck has very little to do with it. If you have never found one, I mean, a big one!... Persevere. And when you do you will feel like you just struck gold! For much further instructions click here: The Definitive Guide to finding Huge Petoskey Stones
2 - Eat a Pastie
A what? I didn't spell it wrong. Not a pastry, a Pastie. It's a very popular scandinavian cuisine that can be found up north and particularly in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. My wife is from the U.P. and she and her family are the only reason I know what they are. There is an amazing pastie joint in Cadillac Michigan called Mr. Foisie's Pasties. A Pastie is basically a baked meat pie with root vegetables with a flaky crust. Eat with ketchup!
3 - Clay pit mud bath
Oh yes. I only know of one place in Michigan and it is glorious. Not to mentions great for your skin. Not stinky. Usable for creating clay sculpture. And a great spot to get good videos: Check out the clay!
4 - Find an undiscovered location
Yes, it is definitely possible. Nearly nobody goes off the beaten path. There is so much green space in the great state of Michigan and so much protected wilderness and public land that this is not hard to do. HOWEVER, without the proper planning, equipment and knowhow. You could get lost and that would be BAD.
- So, find yourself a handheld gps. I love mine. It's a Garmin etrex20.
- take extra batteries!
- check the weather!
- bring bug spray
- tell someone where you are going.
Depending on where you go and how far there is a good chance you will have found a spot that no other human being has ever seen before! What could be there?!!! Oh and while you are there you could:
5 - Poop in the woods!
If you just said EW! You are a perfect candidate for this. I'll get to the nitty gritty mechanics of it in a bit... Some possible objections you may have:
- "But someone might see me!" Okay, if you just did #4 no one will see you do a #2.
- "Its dirty and there are bugs!" First of all, bug spray was on your list. Second, dirty? Really? I would be willing to bet many of you are reading this on the can right now. And how many people do you think sat on that germ infested seat before you? You are about to sit somewhere no one has ever been and no one will ever be again.
- "What about toilet paper?" Leaves can work in a pinch;) But the best thing to do is add that to your list from above. And better yet, wet wipes!
If there are any other objections I would love to hear them! Comments are open.
So, if you intend to take this very primal pursuit here are some tips and options:
- Find your spot. The options are endless in the middle of the woods. Some lean, some hang, some squat and some do a combination of any of these. Me, I prefer to find a fallen tree that is not too big around(maybe a foot in diameter at most) that is still off the ground a foot or 2. And hang off the back
- Dig a hole. Find a solid stick. Use it to dig a hole where you intend to unload. 8 inches deep or so.
- Do the deed. Enjoy the breeze and the scenery. Feel accomplished and proud of yourself. Notice you don't need to light a match or worry about who is going to smell what you just did.
- Fill in the hole.
Mission Accomplished. Now go home. Tell your kids so they can tell your grandkids. Everything makes a great story!!